Saturday, August 8, 2020
This can’t be real. This can’t be real.
I’m lost in a sea of despair. My beloved Hanna is gone. Nothing feels real.
My shadow. My best friend. My anchor. Keeping me tethered to happiness. My dream come true. I truly could not have loved her more, I did want to love her longer. I can hear her breathing, hear her walking in our halls. She was always beside me, right by my side. I was never lonely.
It feels like being adrift at sea, and the waves of sadness crash over and over and I can’t breathe. I come to the surface, remember, she’s gone, and I drown all over again. It’s fresh. It’s raw. My heart is ripped wide open.
Hanna, squishy bear, my love. I love you. I love you. You’re my best friend. I’ll never stop missing you. Never stop loving you.
I don’t even know why I’m writing all this here, except I felt like she deserved a tribute. Speak it out loud into the universe what she meant to me. To us. To our family. She was our compass, guiding us towards happiness. And now I feel lost without her. She profoundly changed my life. In the best possible way. She saved me a million times over, and it wrecks me that I couldn’t save her back. We did everything we possibly could and more.
She’s my best friend. Goodbye sweet Hanna. Squishy. Goodbye.