Just when you think you know what is going to happen in life, something actually happens in your life and changes everything.
A few good rules to go by, one, take noone in your life for granted. Ever. Never take for granted that you will see them the very next day. What if it was the last time you say them ever. What would you come to think of the last thing you said to them, are you ok to carry that from then on. Never take those you love for granted. Not ever.
Two, live your best life. You get one, live it the very best you can. Don't hate yourself now, when you are all you have. There is one you, and every single thing about you, is amazing.
Sometimes you just have those nights that remind you more, what you are and who your have. Makes me sad, makes me happy... makes me realize I am not numb inside, that I still have hope to be able to live with it all.
Don't give up.