31

Worn out.

I don't know how my parent's have lived through a three year plus renovation. I am almost 1 month in and I am losing it. And my BF is doing all the hard work. I find it heart breaking to see him to so tired from it all. I wish I could do more to help, but aside from errands and making him meals, my help falls a little short.

I am waiting for my studio to come together. My sewing machine and serger are still in there boxes. I miss them, I feel stiffled. I need to start to make things, I have ideas, I must use them. The longer my studio is based on the floor the more anxious I get.

No matter how much I sleep, I am still so tired. All the time. Emotionally, I feel weak, a little beaten. Alot, and I mean alot has changed for me this year. I haven't had too much time to notice how much, and when I take a minute to realize it, I freak out. And stop thinking about it again.

Sometimes I feel like I am standing on the edge of my own personnal sanity, and when I look to far ahead, I get really shaky and scared.

I feel so at home in my home, more then anywhere, I have ever been, but it is still in such a so much to do area, it is wearing me down.

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you have taken all you can, handled things the way you should, been where you should have gone and doing what you need to do? And all you really want to do, is close your eyes, and just stop?

I don't mean stop everything, I just mean, stop the noise, stop the unknown.

I am stressing. Stressing big time.